A Letter To A Second Time Mummy

Dear Mummy,

Congratulations, on your wonderful family.

I know sometimes you worry that you are not enough, but I want to remind you that you are. I know that second time around you wonder so many things, things you never had to think about the first time.

I know you worry about your eldest.

You wonder if you are giving them enough time. You wonder if they resent the time you give to their sibling. And you wonder, if like you, they miss the time when it was just you and them.

The truth is though, that although they may get less of your time now than they once did. They get no less love. Your heart is big enough for two. And they know that, always. I know you make sure of it, each and every day.

This newborn stage is hard, but it won’t always be that way.

Before long, they will be the best of friends, the other’s better half. Their lives each infinitely richer for having the other one in it. And your life won’t always be so compartmentalised, dashing madly between one and the other. Their needs will grow more similar over time, allowing you to enjoy them both together and they to enjoy you.

You are enough. You can do this.

I know you worry about your youngest.

You wonder if you are giving them enough time. There is so little time for watching them lovingly as they sleep, you can’t always hold them the second they cry, the world is bigger than just you and they.

The truth is though, you are doing so much. You are loving two small beings with your whole heart. You are doing your best.

And that is enough. You are enough.

The second time round is both different and the same.

Your confidence is greater, you no longer worry if poo is bright green or a bottle is left. You’ve come in prepared for sleepless nights and for a Baby that likes to sleep in your arms.

You know already that breastfeeding hurts.

But there is still so much to learn. A little person to get to know, to understand. I remember sitting and wondering how both my babies could have been so very different.

Give yourself time, don’t second guess this. Remember this may be the second time, but it’s also very new.

You can do this. You are enough.

I promise.

All my love

Another Second Time Mummy

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14 thoughts on “A Letter To A Second Time Mummy

  1. This is such a lovely post, I found becoming a parent really difficult, those first few months were crazy as my daughter had silent reflux. But I found myself wanting to have another one, even despite all the exhaustion and the crazyness, however it’s not to be. but I am so glad that I have my daughter, she is my whole world.

  2. I loved being a mum second time around, even though it brought PND for me. I loved the confidence I had, I loved the sense of being able to do it all again and enjoy it more knowing what was to come. knowing that everything really is just a phase.

  3. What a beautiful, honest letter 🙂 I had dreadful anxiety in pregnancy and then PND the second time round, which is part of the reason I’d love to have a third as I felt I really missed out xx

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