I Wonder If I’ll Always Want Just One More….

I have always only wanted two children.

It was my life plan.

My logic even as a teenager ran something like this: Two children are the right amount. Two children can each invite a friend home for tea, and fit in the car with said friends. Two children and us can fit in standard hotel rooms when we go away. Two children can each have one of my hands.

As an adult I could add further to this list and wax lyrically about the fact that two children mean that that we can afford to have the standard of life that we enjoy. That two children mean that we don’t have to move into a bigger house. And that two children mean that I don’t have to drive a bigger car.

I can also rhyme off the increased risks that would come with having another baby at my age. I can tell you that realistically surviving on any less sleep than we currently get would drive us both insane. Oh yes, and I can also tell you that I absolutely hate being pregnant.

But all those things are my head talking.

They are all completely and utterly true. But none of them account for my heart.

And my heart would love nothing more than cuddles from a newborn. It would love nothing more than watching the Lion run around with a sibling of his own age. It would love nothing more than the chance to be a parent of three.

I have no idea why I feel this way. I have always been the sort of person who has thought with my head. And realistically that isn’t going to change.

No matter how strong the pull. No matter how much my heart yearns for just one more. And no matter that we would of course love a third every bit as much as we love the other two.

I know with my head that our family is complete.

But I cannot help but wonder if with my heart at least I’ll always want just one more….

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18 thoughts on “I Wonder If I’ll Always Want Just One More….

  1. I’m the same, I have three and have been told not to have anymore after three difficult c sections but I would love another and think I always would just want one more. Newborns are so addictive x

  2. I go through a cycle of feeling like this. Most of the time I am happy and content with my two but then I will go through a stage where I am just desperate for a third baby to add into the mix. It is so tricky when head and heart don’t always go hand in hand x

  3. I think for many people they will always wonder about one more, I’m not sure that there are many people who are 100% certain on stopping at one or two or three. I still feel I wouldn’t have stopped at five had circumstances been different!

  4. It is such a difficult heart v head decision sometimes. We have three, we always said two or three and knew after number two that there would be a third. I held a newborn the other day and thought how cute but felt very little, no broodiness or aches anywhere, I am done and glad that my heart and body agree! It must be difficult if you feel you want another but logistics and health may mean otherwise. p.s three is hard!!

    1. I bet they are, one of the reasons my head is currently winning. So glad you have got to a point where your head and heart agree x

  5. I’ve o my got one and he’s nearly 3 now but i don’t think we will have another for all the reasons you have said about having 2 children, financially I really don’t know if we could manage 2

    1. I think it will certainly take my heart a while to catch up too. The brain and the heart don’t always communicate very as well as they should x

  6. This is such a heart warming and emotional post. I remember not long after the birth of my first child someone asked me when the next one was (which is beyond crazy) but it got me thinking about having one more.. I think 2 would be enough for me.

  7. I’ve always wanted 4-6 kids. Now that our second is nearly 6 months old, we’ve decided not to get pregnant again. We may still grow our family with adopted children, but the thought of never growing another baby has my heart hurting. Thanks for sharing
    Katelynn, hampersandhiccups.com

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