Why Does No-One Talk About Hard It Is To Give Up? A Breastfeeding Post.

Why Does No-One Talk About How Hard It Is To Give Up Breastfeeding?

It’s well documented how hard it can be to establish breastfeeding. There are breastfeeding groups, midwives and health visitors. And although the system isn’t perfect, if you need help you can usually find it.

But what about when the journey ends?

Who do you talk to about that? And how do you know if it’s time?

With the Bear our breastfeeding journey came to a natural end. She gradually took less and less milk during the day until the only time she wanted it was right before bed. I’d expected cutting that last night feed to be hard. But she surprised me – a little bit of bribery and corruption and a lot of talk about being a big girl – and she handled it like a pro.

I didn’t feel like I was letting her down.

I felt like she was ready.

With the Lion on the other hand, anything to do with feeding is always going to be more complex in my head.

His calorie intake from food is gradually rising. But he’s also becoming more and more attached to mummy milk. It’s almost as if he senses that time is running out and he needs to clutch onto it.

It’s meant that this week despite eating relatively well for the Other Half over the last couple of weeks, he is still refusing virtually everything from me. He just sits on my lap, cuddles up and wants his milk.

My heart wants to give in – badly. After all, he will almost certainly be my last baby. I’m not ready to give up his babyhood yet. And even without that emotional pull I hate the thought of seeing him upset with a passion.

But my head knows he needs to eat. It also knows he’d rather not.

And that means that this time I have to put my heart aside and think with my head. Even though neither he nor I are ready, it seems like our breastfeeding journey is going to need to end.

For now I’ve compromised. He’s having milk upstairs first thing in the morning, at nap-time and of course overnight. I’m hoping that this is making it less confusing for him than allowing him milk downstairs some of the time but not others.

We’re three days in, and he’s certainly still asking for it multiple times a day, but so far although he’s got upset we’ve managed to distract him.

He still isn’t eating for me, but well it’s early days and I know from experience that with him, these things always take time.

I just wish there was a guide book, a manual, a well trodden path to follow. I wish there was a way of knowing that I was doing the right time.

But I guess, as with so much of parenting that will never really be the case.

I’d love to know any tips you have though, both for lessening breastfeeding as non-traumatically as possible and for how you knew it was time to give up.

I’m feeling more than a little out of my depth this time… maybe because my head and my heart are still very much at odds.

So any help at all will be very gratefully received xx

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6 thoughts on “Why Does No-One Talk About Hard It Is To Give Up? A Breastfeeding Post.

  1. oh my goodness just come across your blog through Twitter.. it’s almost like we have the same lives.. I have a daughter with Aspergers also.. I also have a 2 year old son who still breastfeed and I’m really struggling to get him to cut down.. like you we had cut down to over night and nap times but then something will happen like he gets poorly and we go back to feeding several times during the day too because he doesnt want to eat.. ugh its so difficult. I will most certainly be following your journey x

  2. I found weaning my daughter really tough. Eventually she weaned when I fell pregnant and I told her the milk was going to the new baby. She seemed happy with that situation and happily weaned over a couple of weeks. Before that, she had really strongly objected and I just couldn’t see her so upset. Once she did wean, she ate a lot more and slept much better. I guess this doesn’t really help you, but if you can find an explanation of why there isn’t milk on offer that your son accepts that may help?

    1. We have just started doing that more as he now has more understanding. We talk about him being a big boy and not needing the milk so much anymore xx

  3. I’m having trouble stopping the night feeds. Managed to do it in the day with other food distractions but night is hard. She went back on the breast as going away and she’s teething late so thought it’s best for her to hve it as going to a hot country. I want to know if your toddler still waking in the night? I’m gonna try again when I get back but this time start with the night! I came acrodd your blog on twitter will continue to follow. My toddler turns 2 in October.

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